


I Need You

by destielismylovesong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Schmoop, domestic!Destiel, domestiel, in which they talk about having kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 20:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/853843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielismylovesong/pseuds/destielismylovesong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dean is nervous. they’ve been together for four years now, married for two, and they haven’t really spoken about it before. it’s been mentioned off-hand once or twice, but now they’re building a house together. a physical manifestation of their future. and dean can’t help but wonder if there will be a nursery in that future, with yellow walls and a safari mural and a lord of the rings character mobile turning slowly atop of a white crib.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Link to my tumblr: http://destielismylovesong.tumblr.com/post/53005182528/dean-is-nervous-theyve-been-together-for-four

dean is nervous. they’ve been together for four years now, married for two, and they haven’t really spoken about it before. it’s been mentioned off-hand once or twice, but now they’re building a house together. a physical manifestation of their future. and dean can’t help but wonder if there will be a nursery in that future, with yellow walls and a safari mural and a lord of the rings character mobile turning slowly atop of a white crib.

so he asks. 

they’re sitting on the couch, watching the episode of buffy where angel leaves for good. dean is paying attention- or doing his utmost to, considering his anxiety- and cas is doing what he always does. watching the tv but only half-paying attention, the other half focused on dean.

he’d explained it once. “i don’t know,” he’d said quietly one night, a few months after they’d slowly started to merge into couplehood. when dean had no longer been able to stand the staring, he’d shut off the tv with a sigh and turned to cas.

“i just feel like i’m going to lose you again,” cas had continued slowly, voicing his fears for the first time since he’d fallen. “it’s happened so many times already, who’s to say it won’t happen again? so i just want to look, because i’m not an angel anymore and i need to be able to remember you.” 

that was the first night cas had made love to dean. a term that until that night, dean had shied away from like it was the plague. sure, they’d fucked before. they’d been passionate, frenzied, hard and hot and hurried. but that night, cas had laid dean out on his bed- their bed, in their room- and had covered every inch of his body with his tongue before thrusting into him slowly, taking him to a precipice that was as high as it was sweet.

dean shakes his head, bringing himself back to the present. much like that night three years ago, he shuts the tv off with a sigh and turns to his husband.

“we need to talk,” he says firmly, and instantly regrets it at the panic in castiel’s eyes. the fallen angel moves to back up into the corner of the couch, as if he could escape any potential bad news in the cracks between sofa cushions and structure.

“shhhh, no it’s okay,” dean says quickly, taking castiel’s hand into his and squeezing lightly. he hesitates, then moves over to invade his husband’s personal space. castiel obliges, spreading his legs, and dean settles in between, tucking his head under castiel’s chin and resting an arm on his chest. 

castiel, realizing that this isn’t something he should be nervous about, but is rather something that’s bothering dean, runs his hand through his husband’s hair, knowing it calms him. dean shudders as castiel’s hand reaches dean’s ear, and when he tugs on dean’s earlobe, dean chokes back a cry of arousal, and almost tears castiel’s sweater as his grip on it tightens. 

“what’s wrong?” castiel murmurs, and dean exhales nervously.

“we’ve just-” he starts and then stops. “we’ve never talked about it, which is why i just don’t know if i even should say anything, or if the reason you’ve never brought it up yourself is because you don’t want one? i don’t know, and i’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and-“

castiel tugs on dean’s earlobe again, once, twice, and dean’s words turn into a garbled moan. “what is it?” he asks again, his voice still soft but more commanding.

dean raises his head and meets castiel’s gaze. “kids,” he says simply. “do you- i mean, have you-“

castiel sighs in relief, having expected much worse, a demonic catastrophe maybe, and drops his head, kissing dean fiercely. “of course i want children with you,” he says breathlessly, soft kisses punctuating his words. “of course i do. i was just waiting for you to bring it up, i didn’t want to pressure you into something you weren’t ready for.”

dean sighs and melts into castiel’s kisses, raising a hand to castiel’s neck, looping him in closely. instead of bringing his lips to castiel’s, he stops right as their noses touch, nuzzling gently, lips ghosting over the fallen angel’s but not quite touching.

“i can’t wait to have a family with you,” castiel says, eyes locking onto dean’s before shutting, allowing himself to just feel dean’s presence. 

“i want a girl,” dean replies hesitantly, aching to simultaneously end the tension and kiss his husband, and stay in this fleeting moment of peace forever.

castiel’s eyes open, and he smiles at dean understandingly. “mary,” he says, and dean’s tears clog his throat suddenly and completely. because how is it possible that after everything they’d been through, after all the separations and lies and misunderstandings and deaths and tears, dean was still with the person who understood him instantly, intimately, explanations unnecessary?

“shhhhh,” castiel soothes, his hand running down dean’s back, kissing away an unshed tear at the corner of dean’s eye. “we’re going to make a family. we’re going to find ourselves a little girl, and then maybe even a brother or two for her, and we’re going to have our own family, dean.”

dean arches into castiel’s touch, burying his head into his husband’s chest. “i need you,” he murmurs.

castiel places a finger to dean’s chin and tips his face up into a gentle kiss. “i need you too,” he replies softly.

 


End file.
